Monday
Emotionally, I was frustrated. I was frustrated with the mishaps of the race organization, yes, but I was much more frustrated with myself. I knew that I had given up on myself during the race. I had walked when I hadn't needed to walk. I had stopped when I hadn't needed to stop. The BF heard all about it on the drive home.
Physically, I was feeling pretty good. I was a bit stiff, but not nearly as sore as I was after the Victoria Marathon.
Tuesday
Still frustrated, a bit tired, physically I was feeling almost back to normal. One minute, I was congratulating myself for recovering well, feeling that this was a sure sign that I really was in good shape, prepared for the race and just had a (no less frustrating) "off" day. The next minute I was feeling angry with myself for not pushing myself harder. No wonder I wasn't sore after the race, I hadn't even tried that hard.
Wednesday
Time to get over yourself, Amy. I went out for a 5K run, and ran fast. Recovery? What's that? I was much more exhausted afterwards than I would normally be after just 5K, but it felt good to go out and RUN.
Thursday and Friday
I was back down in the dumps. I did some foam rolling and stretching. I went for a walk. I also spent a lot of time online looking for 4 week training plans for 1/2 marathons, since I have one coming up at the end of the month. (They don't seem to exist, so I'm making my own).
Saturday
15K run. I really couldn't wait to get out the door. I was up early, it was drizzling rain and looked like it might pour. I didn't care. After a quick breakfast, I went out to do a loop route I haven't done in a long time. I had a hard time keeping my pace slow, but was feeling great until I wasn't. All of a sudden, I felt very tired, and when I stopped to walk, a little voice in my head was telling me that I wasn't meant to run long distances, or to run fast. I walked for .8K.
Something clicked.
Who invited YOU on this run? I just finished my second marathon in less than a year. I ran in a perfectly respectable time, at a perfectly respectable pace, in pain for most of the race, with a stomach ache. I have had LOTS of good runs on LOTS of good days. That was just ONE day. Then I ran the rest of the way. Except for that one part, where I'm pretty sure I flew.
Sunday
Hike with the BF. At dinner with his family for Mother's Day, I was asked where I wanted to go from here. I hadn't *thought* I had thought about it, but I heard myself confidently say that I was going to try to keep my mileage up and then start training for a fall marathon with a bigger mileage base. After I kick butt at the 1/2 on May 29th, of course.
I'm sooo glad to hear you are feeling better now. I had a similar "post-marathon depression" last year, but now I just look at it, that I'm lucky because it's much easier to PR after a bad race :)
ReplyDeleteI hate 'seeing' you so hard on yourself but I totally get it. Chalk it up to experience and learn what you can from it. There are lots of races out there for us to kill. :)
ReplyDeletethe post marathon rollercoaster is almost worse than the premarathon or actual marathon.
ReplyDeletedont let ur feelings and negative thoughts get the best of u.
keep pushign hard and u will kick a$$ at ur half. u can do it. u r a strong runner and will be able to recover quick and run strong!
good luck over the next 4 weeks
Way to shake it off! It took me a week or so to work through my "bad day" back in October. Redemption will be sweet!
ReplyDeleteI hate the post marathon blues, it seems like it happens to so many of us. I think it's fabulous that you ran during week, I was a total slug after my marathon. : )
ReplyDelete