Yoga Mat For Sale

I haven't been posting much lately.  Work has been hectic and I'm trying to regain work-life balance.  I've been working on being more efficient during work hours (ie. no bloggy breaks), and then staying away from my laptop in pre and post work hours to stop me from straying from fun stuff back over to work stuff.

I do have some ideas for upcoming posts, so I will be back soon!  In the meantime, this came across my desk today.  You may have already seen it, but I think it's pretty funny!  It was actually forwarded by a colleague as a pick me up because of all of the stuff that's been going on.  I laughed outloud and I think you will too!

Yoga mat for sale. Used once. - $1 (Bellevue)

Yoga mat for sale. Used once at lunch hour class in December 2009. Usage timeline as follows:

11:45a
Register for hot yoga class. Infinite wisdom tells me to commit to 5 class package and purchase a yoga mat. I pay $89.74. Money well spent, I smugly confirm to myself.

11:55a
Open door to yoga room. A gush of hot dry air rushes through and past me. It smells of breath, sweat and hot. Take spot on floor in back of room next to cute blonde. We will date.

11:57a
I feel the need to be as near to naked as possible. This is a problem because of the hot blonde to my left and our pending courtship. She will not be pleased to learn that I need to lose 30 pounds before I propose to her.

11:58a
The shirt and sweats have to come off. I throw caution to the wind and decide to rely on my wit and conditioning to overcome any weight issues my fiancée may take issue with. This will take a lot of wit and conditioning.

11:59a
Begin small talk with my bride to be. She pretends to ignore me but I know how she can be. I allow her to concentrate and stare straight ahead and continue to pretend that I don't exist. As we finish sharing our special moment, I am suddenly aware of a sweat moustache that has formed below my nose. This must be from the all the whispering between us.

12:00p
Instructor enters the room and ascends her special podium at the front of the room. She is a slight, agitated Chinese woman. She introduces me to the class and everyone turns around to greet me just as I decide to aggressively adjust my penis and testes packed in my Under Armor. My bride is notably unfazed.

12:02p
Since I do have experience with Hot Yoga (4 sessions just 5 short years ago) I fully consider that I may be so outstanding and skilled that my instructor may call me out and ask me to guide the class. My wife will look on with a sparkle in her eye. We will make love after class.

12:10p
It is now up to 95 degrees in the room. We have been practicing deep breathing exercises for the last 8 minutes. This would not be a problem if we were all breathing actual, you know, oxygen. Instead, we are breathing each other's body odor, expelled carbon dioxide and other unmentionables. (Don't worry, I'll mention them later.)

12:26p
It is now 100 degrees and I take notice of the humidity, which is hovering at about 90%. I feel the familiar adorning stare of my bride and decide to look back at her. She appears to be nauseated. I then realize that I forgot to brush my teeth prior to attending this class. We bond.

12:33p
It is now 110 degrees and 95% humidity. I am now balancing on one leg with the other leg crossed over the other. My arms are intertwined and I am squatting. The last time I was in this position was 44 years ago in the womb, but I'm in this for the long haul. My wife looks slightly weathered dripping sweat and her eyeliner is streaming down her face. Well, "for better or worse" is what we committed to so we press on.

12:40p
The overweight Hispanic man two spots over has sweat running down his legs. At least I think its sweat. He is holding every position and has not had a sip of water since we walked in. He is making me look bad and I hate him.

12:44p
I consider that if anyone in this room farted that we would all certainly perish.

12:52p
It is now 140 degrees and 100% humidity. I am covered from head to toe in sweat. There is not a square millimeter on my body that is not slippery and sweaty. I am so slimy that I feel like a sea lion or a maybe sea eel. Not even a bear trap could hold me. The sweat is stinging my eyeballs and I can no longer see.

12:55p
This room stinks of asparagus, cloves, tuna and tacos. There is no food in the room. I realize that this is an amalgamation of the body odors of 30 people in a 140 degree room for the last 55 minutes. Seriously, enough with the asparagus, ok?

1:01p
140 degrees and 130% humidity. Look, bitch, I need my space here so don't get all pissy with me if I accidentally sprayed you with sweat as I flipped over. Seriously, is that where this relationship is going? Get over yourself. We need counseling and she needs to be medicated. Stat!

1:09p
150 degrees and cloudy. And hot. I can no longer move my limbs on my own. I have given up on attempting any of the commands this Chinese chick is yelling out at us. I will lay sedentary until the aid unit arrives. I will buy this building and then have it destroyed.
I lose consciousness.

1:15p
I have a headache and my wife is being a selfish bitch. I can't really breathe. All I can think about is holding a cup worth of hot sand in my mouth. I cannot remember what an ice cube is and cannot remember what snow looks like. I consider that my only escape might be a crab walk across 15 bodies and then out of the room. I am paralyzed, and may never walk again so the whole crab walk thing is pretty much out.

1:17p
I cannot move at all and cannot reach my water. Is breathing voluntary or involuntary? If it's voluntary, I am screwed. I stopped participating in the class 20 minutes ago. Hey, lady! I paid for this frickin class, ok?! You work for me! Stop yelling at everyone and just tell us a story or something. It's like juice and cracker time, ok?

1:20p
It is now 165 degrees and moisture is dripping from the ceiling. The towel that I am laying on is no longer providing any wicking or drying properties. It is actually placing additional sweat on me as I touch it. My towel reeks. I cannot identify the smell but no way can it be from me. Did someone spray some stank on my towel or something?

1:30p
Torture session is over. I wish hateful things upon the instructor. She graciously allows us to stay and 'cool down' in the room. It is 175 degrees. Who cools down in 175 degrees? A Komodo Dragon? My wife has left the room. Probably to throw up.

1:34p
My opportunity to escape has arrived. I roll over to my stomach and press up to my knees. It is warmer as I rise up from ground level - probably by 15 degrees. So let's conservatively say it's 190. I muster my final energy and slowly rise. One foot in front of the other. One foot in front of the other. Towards the door. Towards the door.

1:37p
The temperature in the lobby is 72 degrees. Both nipples stiffen to diamond strength and my penis begins to retract into my abdomen from the 100 degree temp swing. I can once again breathe though so I am pleased. I spot my future ex wife in the lobby. We had such a good thing going but I know that no measure of counseling will be able to unravel the day's turmoil and mental scaring.

1:47p
Arrive at Emerald City Smoothie and proceed to order a 32 oz beverage. 402 calories, 0 fat and 14 grams of protein -- effectively negating any caloric burn or benefit from the last 90 minutes. I finish it in 3 minutes and spend the next 2 hours writing this memoir.

3:47p
Create Craigslist ad while burning final 2 grams of protein from Smoothie and before the "shakes" consume my body.

4:29p
Note to self - check car for missing wet yoga towel in am.

Source

Ready to Run

My Garmin says my last run was August 4th.

Huh?

I know that was the weekend I decided to give up on my marathon, relax a little more this summer, and relished the sleep in on Saturday...and Sunday.  I know I spent 4 days of the following week on the road for work and though I wasn't running, I was running around like a crazy person getting ready for our trip.  Then there were those two weeks of vacationing, which included a lot of hiking, but not a lot of running besides from the camper to the drop toilets in the middle of the night.  Then there were 3 days in Whitehorse for work, where I tried to do about 2 weeks of work in 3 days.  And then...

Well, then I procrastinated.  I knew it had been long enough since my last good run, that my next run was not going to be a good one.  I was using every available excuse:  the weather, time, upset stomach, not drinking enough water, tiredness, coming down with a cold, hip pain...

Wait.

What?

How do you get a running injury when you haven't been running?

It started a few days into the trip to Alaska.  Not pain, really, but tightness.  A feeling.  I thought maybe I was just stiff from sitting in the car, but on a couple of our hikes that feeling kicked in a little more.  I went back to doing the physio exercises I was given back in February while we were on the road and I lacked internet to figure out anything else, but this is a different spot.

Today I was dying to get out to run (enough is enough), and though I should know better than to run through pain, I'd pretty well convinced myself that maybe running would make this pain go away, since it started when I wasn't running.  You get my logic, right?  Besides, it wasn't really pain.  It was a feeling.

I went at a comfortable pace and set my Garmin to 5 minutes of running, 1 minute of walking.  I didn't look at my pace at all, because I didn't want to push myself.  I just wanted to stay in a nice, comfortable zone on a nice, flat, 5K loop.

I could feel my hip throughout, and by about half way through, I could also feel my knee.  Not sharp pain, but not right, either.  Once I got home, I stretched well, but by part way through this afternoon, I could still feel my hip, even when I was sitting at my desk.

I tried to take pictures with my iPhone to show you where and how it hurts until I can get into physio, but they turned out like this:

When I lift my leg this high, the "feeling" kicks in right around the side of my pocket
(Ignore the mess in the background)

When I lift my leg as if to march on the spot, the "feeling" hits around this height, right at the bend of my hip, at the flexor

Ok, so really not very useful photos, but I thought they were funny. 

My mind is ready for running, but my body might need a little more convincing.  Foam rolling tonight and heading to the gym tomorrow to see what the eliptical and bike feel like....

No running, more photos.

Here's the rest of our trip!



The photo here was as close as we got to seeing Denali/Mt McKinley, but here I am at the viewpoint.

We climbed a mountain in Denali State Park for a better look - but we just got a view of rain clouds...

...and then the rain got closer, but we kept going up

...and got a rainbow view before we got POURED on (we never learn our lesson on this!)

An abanonned 3 story igloo

Still no mountain view, but a beautiful day in Denali National Park

Where there were also the nicest drop toilets of all time!

After a quick stop in Fairbanks, we were off on the Dalton Highway - as far north as you can go in North America!

We crossed the Arctic Circle!

And had lunch here. 

If you're passing through the Coldfoot Visitor's Centre, look for us in the new video - we were asked to drive by with our camper while two girls were setting up their tent in the background.

The trees just stopped as we went north.  (can't rotate)

But we got a great sunset before we stopped to camp...

And this view in the morning when we woke up before the mountains stopped too.

Then the tundtra got very flat...

Which made for easy wildlife viewing!

We even spotted wild muskoxen (those dark things).

Deadhorse was just a big industrial zone, so we turned around quickly so we had time to do another hike

Back to reality...we'd been out of the loop for so long, we didn't know why the flag was lowered when we got back to Kluane National Park (Jack Layton had died).

Overall, the trip was amazing!  We had a lot of rain, but it didn't stop us from getting out and doing lots of hikes.  We didn't have any set plans and enjoyed the freedom to just go where we wanted, when we wanted.  We were surprised by how little wildlife we saw, but seeing muskox, which are so weird and prehistoric looking, more than made up for it.  The photos of the Dalton Highway don't do it justice.  This was a breathtaking drive, but all we heard about it before we left was how tough of a road it would be.  While services are few and far between, the highway is paved more than half of the way, hard packed dirt the rest, and very well travelled by pipeline workers, trucks, government and hunters.  Though it was nice to get a break from all of the tourists in the south, there is no reason not to drive this highway and I don't know why more people don't do it!

Now it really is time to get back to reality - and running!

Alaska bound!

Heads up:  This is not a running post! 

After over a year without a break from work, the BF and I went on a 2 week road trip to Alaska.  I did bring my running shoes, but they only went on my feet when my hiking shoes got soaked.  I didn't run at all for 2 weeks (or the week before we left, or the week after we got home - eek), but we did a lot of hiking and walking and had a GREAT time.

Here's a little summary in pictures:

Bought some smoked salmon from these guys - grabbing them straight from the river in Moricetown, BC

Our first hike - over one of the original bridges on the Alaska Highway

Entering Kluane National Park, Yukon Territory

Who needs a campground when you can pull off the highway and wake up to this view?!

We made it!  (but I can't rotate the picture)

Our first stop across the border.  This town was "New Tokyo" until Japan bombed Alaska.

Another hike, and our first wildlife sighting: a beaver!

First glacier sighting!  Worthington Glacier

The sign said:  Caution: Proceed at your own risk.  The sign did not say not to proceed.

On the ferry from Valdez to Whittier (with views of the Columbia Glacier)

Exit Glacier near Seward - the glacier came this far in 1926

Up close at Exit Glacier

Muskox!  (At the wildlife preserve)

Identifying bear poop at the wildlife preserve

Traffic Jam in Alaska.  There was a fatal accident, so we just got out of line and went for a hike (traffic was stopped for 6 hours!)

Another hike in the rain...

...to another glacier!

As close as I got to running - there was a race in Anchorage!  I hadn't registered, or eaten, and food won.

Yummy, yummy beers at Glacier Brewhouse

The obligatory King Crab dinner

Uhh...

Heading north, we pulled in here.  Mike had everything - cars, antlers, Sarah Palin signs and...

A pickled hand?!

On that note...I'll break here!  More to come as we head to Denali National Park, Fairbanks, and chase down the Ice Road Truckers!

2 weeks :)

I have just come back from 2 weeks of absolutely wonderful, computer, cell phone, technology free vacation in Alaska.  It was also a run-free vacation, but I did do a lot of hiking!  I will post some pictures soon!

One Week Later..

...and I feel great!  Well, truth be told, I'm a little sore actually, but we'll get to that later.  I know I made the right decision about a fall marathon, and though I know I'll feel a twinge of jealousy reading race reports come October, I don't have any regrets about my decision.

I've decided that with a two week vacation in August, a realistic goal for me this month is just to be active every day.  No real mileage goals (except to keep up with my goal for the year), no key workouts, no plan. 

Monday:  90 min hike

I thoroughly enjoyed the holiday and the lack of pressure to run and took full advantage with a sleep in.  When I finally got up, the BF and I headed out for a hike along a nearby creek.  The BF was wearing boots, and I was in my trail shoes.  I killed about a thousand mosquitoes, got stung by some kind of nettle plant and crossed the creek about 4 times before I fell in and had a mini-meltdown.  Not my favourite hike.  :(

Tuesday:  5K run and abs

This was the week that summer finally arrived!  I got out a bit late and was HOT, but made it around my 5K route before getting home to do a 15 minute ab workout.

Wednesday:  16 hour work day + dancing + balance

Oh yes, I can get creative.  My day involved and hour and a half drive to a meeting, driving back, and then facilitating a workshop in the evening.  It was only day 3 and I didn't want to fail at my daily activity so soon.  To fit it in, I danced in the car.  You can work up quite a sweat with the right moves ;)  Then while facilitating, I stood on one foot for as long as I could, then the other, using my abs to balance.

Thursday:  5K run + back

The water on the river has finally gone down and after over a month of being under water, the river walk is available for running again.  Again, I waited a bit later than I should have to run, but there's lots of shade on this route, so I was pretty comfortable throughout.  When I got home, I did a 15 minute back toning workout.

Friday:  30 minutes walking

It was a busy work day, so I took work into town to combine with errands and did them all by walking.

Saturday:  45 minutes cardio

I found a new cardio workout on an iPhone app and tried it out.  I wasn't too sure how much of a workout I could really get in my basement, but ended up discovering muscles I didn't know I had!  I was pooped by the end and sore for the rest of the day!

Sunday:   40 min Stretching and Foam Rolling + 6 hours gardening

I had planned on going for a run on Sunday, but woke up and could barely move.  I did some stretching and foam rolling, but was still hobbling about.  I hobbled into the garden and started pulling the weeds that have been accumulating all spring, and kept stretching while I pulled.  Maybe I did a little too much stretching, because stairs are an even bigger challenge today!  I also have an extra pain - from my first sunburn of the year!  I covered my whole body in sunscreen, but missed my lower back.  As I bent to pull weeds, my shirt went up, and my back went pink.  Nuts!

Dear Marathon,

This is hard to say, so I'm just going to say it:

I think it's time we took a break.

I don't mean I want to break up and never see you again.  I just don't think it's working out right now, and maybe if we spent some time apart, we could come back together when we're both ready to get serious.

I fell in love with you quickly.  I was enamoured, some might say obsessed with you.  After our first big date, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven.  I was sure I'd met my match for life and was excited to start prepping for date number two. 

On that second date, I was really hurt.  I'd put so much into getting ready, and was really let down at the finish.  I thought if I jumped into date three, I would feel better, and our relationship would get better, but it's just not quite going as planned.  I keep putting you off, and making excuses.  It's really not fair to you, and I know I will only be disappointed in the end.

I admit, I've been flirting with the idea of shorter distances.  There's so much going on in my life right now, I need something fun and light in my life.  I know it's selfish, but with my two week vacation coming up, I really just want to be free to do as I please. 

As much as I love you, you should know that you are awfully demanding.  You make me get up early, restrict my diet, and tell me not to have that second glass of wine.  While you do make me happy, and give me a great deal in return, you also take hours of my time, and have caused me physical pain.  In a word, you are exhausting.

I am sure that we will get to date three eventually, just not this fall.  I know it won't be easy to reaquaint ourselves after I've been spending more time with 10K, half and even 5K, but I'll try to visit once a month or so with a longer long run so we can keep in touch.  When we do meet again, I promise I will be faster, stronger, and ready to commit.

Until the spring,
Amy
xo